Comma Chameleon is a man without conviction (the legal kind, at least).

The U.S. Army is the main client of RAPP, the marketing agency where I've worked since November 2019. For a Fiscal Year 2024 kickoff meeting last October, each team—Account, Strategy, Tech, etc.—was asked to reintroduce itself to the others with a presentation of some sort.

I suggested to my team, Creative, that we riff on G.I. Joe action-figure "cardbacks" from the '80s; we manifested our AI-enabled, comic-book-like images via Freepik.com. I'm glad I was able to generate a tough-looking version of myself with no more than five fingers on each hand, but my faux Joe is right-handed, unlike his real-life southpaw counterpart, and he chicken-scratches with two penknives—"that are both pens and knives," FYI—in his dominant hand for no apparent reason other than that G.I. Joe is a real American hero, and Americans will always fight for the right to have more than they need.