Rejected titles for Morrissey's new autobiography, out now in the UK via Penguin Classics (it arrives in the States next month), include "Shoplifters of the World, Unite and Steal This Book, Though by Doing So You'll Only Be Deflating My Royalties, Not My Ego," "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful, But When We Become Successful, Well, We Can Be Pretty Obnoxious About It," and "The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get to Full-On Textbook Narcissism."