Tuesday, September 24, 2019

"We're artists, so we understand."

Posted earlier today on The Hollywood Reporter's website:

To promote her new memoir, Inside Out, Demi Moore sat down with Diane Sawyer in an interview that will roll out in multiple parts this week on ABC's Good Morning America. During Tuesday's second installment, Moore, 56, opened up about her split from ex-husband Ashton Kutcher, 41, which she described as "devastating."

Among other revelations, the actress shared that she discovered Kutcher was "caught cheating" from a Google Alert on her cellphone. San Diego-based administrative assistant Sara Leal shared intimate details of her interactions with Kutcher, which took place in 2011 during the actor's marriage to Moore, in an interview with Us Weekly. (Kutcher and Moore wed in 2005 and finalized their divorce in 2013.)

Moore told Sawyer that she immediately called Kutcher and "asked if it was true." Moore went on to say that Kutcher "admitted it right away." She recounted, "And I think my response was, 'Are you fucking kidding me?' That was it. And I think I could barely take a breath" ...

Published on January 16, 2011, in the Chicago Sun-Times:

Demi Moore is a string that's most definitely attached. She is the one on her husband Ashton Kutcher's mind when he does a sex scene in a movie ...

"You know, I really think that whomever you're with as a partner does need to be your friend, too," Kutcher says. "All the really successful, happy relationships I know of feature two people who are together as friends, too. I don't know if sex always has to have feelings, but friendship always does. If you're friends, you will have feelings of some sort" ...

"There is so much that's not said about sex in our country," he says. "I do a lot of work on human trafficking. I connect with girls who end up in this trade partially because of lack of education about sex" ...

Kutcher says that there is no issue with his actress wife when it comes to onscreen romance with others.

"We're artists, so we understand," he says.

But when it comes to offscreen romance with others, Moore should've realized that sex doesn't always have to have feelings, and neither do husbands, who may be reserving all of their feelings for girls they connect with who need to be educated about sex.

Do 22-year-old administrative assistants count, even if you have sex with them on the sixth anniversary of your wedding to Demi Moore (according to the administrative assistant in question, who, unfortunately for Kutcher, didn't leave much unsaid about sex when speaking to Us Weekly)? Sara Leal is a human, after all, who probably had to fight San Diego traffic on occasion in order to get to work on time.

The syndicated Sun-Times puff piece quoted above centered on No Strings Attached, a romantic comedy pairing Kutcher and Natalie Portman as friends with benefits. It debuted in theaters six months before Friends With Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, and eight months before Kutcher demonstrated how much he valued his friendship with his wife by immediately confessing that he'd connected with a human who's sat in traffic.

No Strings Attached earned $70 million at the domestic box office, about $15 million more than Friends With Benefits, but the latter won the international race in a photo finish with a total of $149.5 million, about $300,000 more than the former. And Kutcher began dating Kunis, his former That '70s Show costar, the following year — they got married in 2015 — because listening to non-celebrity humans complain about traffic gets old real fast. 

That's one benefit you should give exclusively to friends.