Thursday, March 15, 2007

a phrase that should be retired in 2007

Any phrase that ends with "... on crack," much like any sentence that includes the phrase "the ___ from hell," should be ceased and desisted immediately. I'm not sure if "... on crack" was ever that funny, but I'm certain it's not anymore.

Besides, it's insulting to crack addicts. How do you know what they're like when they're high? Maybe they're quite mellow and very reasonable. Please don't base your opinion solely on Chris Rock's Essence Award-winning performance in New Jack City.

You know, I feel kind of sorry for crack addicts—unlike heroin addicts, they don't have a cool movie like Trainspotting to hang their hat on. Remember that part with the dead baby on the ceiling? Or that scene where Obi-Wan has to feel his way through his own feces to find some lost suppositories? Hilarious! Man ... junkies sure do get into some crazy shit. I should write a pilot treatment for a sitcom.

Anyway, statements such as "That was like Sunday school on crack" or "He's like Dick Tracy on crack"—nope, sorry, just not feelin' it. Let a royal decree go forth! (Go ahead and respond with "You're like Julius Caesar on crack." See where that gets you, smarty-pants.)


  1. I think the phrase first gained prominence with the line, "You look like MC Hammer on crack, Humpty." from the 1990? "Humpty Dance" by digital underground. But it was probably in use already around the Bay Area (Digital Underground's home base) at that time. Like "hella", it came from the Bay.

  2. I'd forgotten about that line in "The Humpty Dance." Thanks for reminding me. I also didn't know that "hella" came from Oakland as well. I'm mostly tired of hearing "... on crack" used in movies or on sitcoms as a supposed instant laugh-getter. It's like when one character reacts to another character's strange behavior with the line "You're sick, you know that? You need help." Hahaha, right? Uh, sure.

  3. I'll go you one further and say it should've stopped being used around 1990.

    Also, ending something with, "..., bitch."
    there are so many. so many.