The Atlanta Braves

Good Lord, they're 19 games out of first place in their division! I knew they weren't doing well this season, but I didn't know they were in fourth place. This will be the first season since 1990 that they haven't made it to the playoffs. I turned 15 back in 1990. That's half a lifetime ago.

FUN FACT! ... unless you used to be a Montreal Expos fan: The Braves were in second place in September 1994 when the season ended early due to a players' strike. The Expos were in first and had a shot at their first World Series ever. At that point it became official: God hates Montreal. Say, wasn't there a movie in the '90s called Jesus of Montreal? I bet that one isn't in God's Netflix queue. And according to IMDB, it came out in '89. (C'mon, you knew I'd check.)

In other baseball news, I flipped past ESPN last night and saw this heading on the screen: "Longest Steaks by Gold Gloves." Steaks? See, where I come from, we call them sausages. And we don't discuss them on TV.