I'm sorry for objectifying you, Mrs. Zee, but I promise to never send you a creepy fan letter or tag you inappropriately on Instagram. Your "excessive heat warning" is on my radar, however, as it was on yours yesterday morning:
A few weeks earlier, on May 11, you said, "It is very elongated in some areas," describing severe weather that formed in the scrotum of Texas before climaxing in North Carolina. Or at least that's how it looked to me on your weather map:
I also seem to recall you referring to midwestern homes pelted with hail that "took a pounding in the backyard," but maybe I overslept one morning and dreamed that particular weather report. If I did, it wasn't "the wettest on record," to quote you once again, with "up to six-plus inches possible," but if my crush could be represented on your high-tech ABC weather map, there's a 100 percent chance it would be red and throbbing.