Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Neocon sex fantasy"?

Some people have been complaining the last few years that the TV series 24 is a neoconservative's dream come true because of the multiple torturings and mangling of Constitutional law inflicted by Jack Bauer and his colleagues. But what kind of neoconservative has ever fantasized about two black bachelors being elected president in one decade?

At least David Palmer had already been a senator when his term of office began, and he had raised two children with his ex-wife (but it seems unlikely that a presidential candidate's rhetoric about traditional American values would hold much water with certain voters if he was going through a very public divorce during his run). His brother, Wayne, as far as I can remember, had never held any kind of elected office before he became president; he was his brother's chief of staff, but as my friend Beau said, "That's like seeing Karl Rove become president."

And Wayne's never been married. Did he win solely on sympathy votes cast by people who liked his assassinated brother? Sorry, but Wayne is no Bobby to David's Jack. Plus he's bald. Who was our last bald president? Gerald Ford. And just like my friend Beau, Ford was an accident! (Sorry you had to find out this way, Beau.) I think we're still a ways off from electing a black president, y
et here comes Barack Obama, who's most likely going to run. (Okay, so he's half black.) Prove me wrong, Obama. But if you really want my vote, I dare you to begin divorce proceedings sometime around Super Tuesday next year.

Real America just isn't as progressive as 24's version of America, but at least real America hasn't watched its last three presidents either (a) decide not to run for reelection because of a personal scandal, (b) become critically wounded in a plane crash and have to cede power to the vice-president, or (c) resign from office because of a political scandal involving treason. Maybe Wayne Palmer got elected because nobody else wanted the job. Good luck handling all of the nuclearand politicalfallout this season, Wayne.

1 comment:

  1. bald is the new hair.

    i think he's gonna be gay. another story line.
    (I've only watched the show once. This past week. With the nuclear stuff. Kiefer's all buff! Still don't have a thing for him. Never have. His father is another story, i'd take him right now. Longest, and wrongest, parenthetical ever?)