So you're suggesting I share some of these M&M's. With who? You mean the guy outside of White Hen, who, when I told him I didn't have any spare change for food, saw the sandwich I'd just bought and yelled, "Hey, buddy, to you it's a snack, but I'm starving!" (It's okay to yell at people who politely deny you money when you're in a wheelchair, because who's going to get in an argument with someone in a wheelchair? That's a no-win situation, unless there's a flight of stairs nearby.) Actually, sir, that sandwich wasn't a snack—it was my dinner. In your face! Second, weren't you smoking a cigarette before I went into White Hen? Yeah, you were. Priorities, priorities! Nutrition or nicotine—what's it gonna be? Therefore I don't need to share my M&M's with you. I'd hate to contribute to the rotting of your teeth. I'd rather just focus on the rotting of my own.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
tear 'n' share
It looks like the good people at Mars Inc. have gotten rid of the "king size" label for the bag of M&M's that you buy when you've decided 37.1 grams of milk chocolate isn't going to be enough (I'm not judging—I buy the king-size bag far too often) and replaced it with "tear 'n' share." Is this an attempt on their part to appear more health-conscious to consumers? ("You don't need all those M&M's in your belly. Give some to your friends, fattie!")
So you're suggesting I share some of these M&M's. With who? You mean the guy outside of White Hen, who, when I told him I didn't have any spare change for food, saw the sandwich I'd just bought and yelled, "Hey, buddy, to you it's a snack, but I'm starving!" (It's okay to yell at people who politely deny you money when you're in a wheelchair, because who's going to get in an argument with someone in a wheelchair? That's a no-win situation, unless there's a flight of stairs nearby.) Actually, sir, that sandwich wasn't a snack—it was my dinner. In your face! Second, weren't you smoking a cigarette before I went into White Hen? Yeah, you were. Priorities, priorities! Nutrition or nicotine—what's it gonna be? Therefore I don't need to share my M&M's with you. I'd hate to contribute to the rotting of your teeth. I'd rather just focus on the rotting of my own.
So you're suggesting I share some of these M&M's. With who? You mean the guy outside of White Hen, who, when I told him I didn't have any spare change for food, saw the sandwich I'd just bought and yelled, "Hey, buddy, to you it's a snack, but I'm starving!" (It's okay to yell at people who politely deny you money when you're in a wheelchair, because who's going to get in an argument with someone in a wheelchair? That's a no-win situation, unless there's a flight of stairs nearby.) Actually, sir, that sandwich wasn't a snack—it was my dinner. In your face! Second, weren't you smoking a cigarette before I went into White Hen? Yeah, you were. Priorities, priorities! Nutrition or nicotine—what's it gonna be? Therefore I don't need to share my M&M's with you. I'd hate to contribute to the rotting of your teeth. I'd rather just focus on the rotting of my own.
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Tear 'N' Share: When is became more important to promote stupidity over a healthy lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, its always okay to yell at people in wheelchairs as long as you're not yelling about their disabilities.