Friday, June 20, 2008

Chicago Public Radio relationships

On the air each weekday morning WBEZ newsreader Lisa Lavez and traffic reporter Abby Ryan sound like former friends who aren't happy that they still have to work together. Abby always clips the end of "You're welcome" after Lisa says, "Thank you," as if she knows Lisa's gratitude doesn't reach one millimeter beyond that microphone. 

Does Lisa realize what it takes to update traffic reports every morning? Does she know that Abby suffers from acrophobia and would get the shakes real bad if she ever tried to go up in a whirlybird? (I don't know that for a fact, but I bet I'm right.) She might even wet her pants (I bet I'm right about that too), but do you care, Lisa? No! Because you're the one who reads the news, and therefore you think you're a big shot. "Look at me on my news-reading throne! I press this button and this happens, and when I press that button that happens. Fa-la-la-la-la!"

Girlfriend, you need an attitude adjustment. And Abby, you need to smile through the tears and possibly fall out of a news chopper to help you conquer that fear I claim you have. My point is, people are listening, so you two either need to bury the hatchet or get a room. And call me before you make your decision so I can plan my evening accordingly. Thank you. (You're welcome.)

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