The other day at work I found a reader submission that was never published back in April. But although my employer didn't take the bait, apparently another alternative weekly newspaper did.
The author's submission included a Web address for ladylibertyshirts.com, a site that doesn't mince words about its stock: "We offer an inventory of two, and only two, styles of high-quality T-shirts."
And now, in its entirety ...
Hilary Swank. This is a Japanese haiku poem. Entitled "Hilary Swank." 'Cept I ain't got no words for no pomes'n'shit.
That's cuz jist yisterday I robbed a bank.
Hilary Swank to me is just one beautiful trailer-trash bitch.
Most likely tomorrow the law will catch me.
In the meantime I got her right where I want her to be, and where she wants to be. Hilary Swank is lying back with her legs spread apart. I'm kissing Hilary Swank's neck and I've got my hand in between her legs and I am gently, gently, gently feeling with my thumb her woman's bagina, bagina.
I'm kissing her neck.
That's a bit before she and I somehow create tomorrow's bank robber or Academy Award winner.
You get the idea.