Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Which movie currently in theaters is a sequel to a remake and a remake of a sequel?

The correct answer is Rob Zombie's Halloween II.

What will you think of next, Hollywood?

"Halloween 3D," as it turns out, because even though Halloween II opened in third place last weekend, far behind The Final Destination (another horror sequel, with the "The" apparently indicating that this is the last installment in the series, i.e. "This is the end for you rubberneckers who love watching teenagers die gruesome yet imaginatively staged deaths"), Hollywood can't have enough sequels or 3-D movies or "reboots" in theaters.

I have a feeling "Halloween 3D" won't be a remake of 1982's Halloween III: Season of the Witch, a sequel that ditched the Michael Myers character from the first two films to tell a story about unrelated characters who have to stop a Halloween-mask manufacturer from killing millions of children with its black-magic-enhanced product. Halloween III wasn't well received by moviegoers or critics, so my script for "Halloween 3A: Season of the Witch 2" never came to pass, with our heroes from the first Witch harassing the neighborhood dry cleaner until he agrees to stop using plastic bags.

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